Monthly Wellness Challenge: Develop Divine Worthiness

WORTHINESS IS A KNOWING OF BEING IMPORTANT AND SIGNIFICANT.

To feel worthy is to feel respected, deserving, and good enough; to feel superior.

As humans, a person has an inherent value and dignity. An individual has a sacredness, a divine spirituality; a moral, spiritual and intellectual nature that is created in the image and likeness of God. As a sacred Being, one is deemed worthy.

I DON’T FEEL WORTHY BECAUSE…

If worthiness is an inherent, natural outcome of being human, why don’t I feel worthy?

Many versions of why someone does not feel worthy are construed. Some say:  “I don’t have a college degree, I need to lose weight, I am not in an intimate relationship, I don’t own my own home, I don’t make enough money.” There are numerous reasons people give for not feeling worthy. These reasons are not based on truths.

Worthiness is a wound established and nurtured in childhood. A child wants to be considered valuable, appreciated, liked, and honored. (Adler, 1930/2006). In a family system that promotes lack of unconditional love, parental detachment or inconsistent involvement, unwarranted punishment, and distrust in abilities, a child questions whether they belong and worthy. Some systems actually tell the child or send the message that this child “will never amount to anything.” A child, wanting to be significant and important,  responds by pleasing, overachieving, performing, or striving for perfection (Pharaon, 2023). The thoughts and actions that result are based on feelings of being inferior, not deserving, and not worthy.

I RESPONDED TO FEELING UNWORTHY BY…

Without consistent positive reinforcement or encouragement, a child is discouraged and feels useless. As the pattern continues and develops into adulthood, the feeling of unworthiness is fortified as negative self-talk, self-criticism, low self-esteem increase. Shame, guilt, obligation and even fear arise and prevent an authentic and healthy expression of the true nature of oneself in the World. Excessive shame leads to further self-blame and disconnection in relationships. Pleasing, isolating and withdrawing, and sometimes aggressiveness is used to fight the feeling of shame (Brown, 2016).

I AM WORTHY OF…BECAUSE, I AM

Compassion and empathy for a child heals any shame and the feeling of unworthiness. Instead of overly negative self-talk and self-criticism, one can instill self-gratitude and joy. This healing process is a practice of self-understanding and self-love. It is changing the feeling of inferiority to a knowing that you are valued and important.

HOW TO DEVELOP WORTHINESS: Challenge yourself and attempt a few of these activities.

1. Be truthful and acknowledge the feeling of inferiority and shame. It is only when we accept where we are and are truthful with ourselves, that we can make changes.
2. Make connections and develop relationships with people who honor, respect, and value you.
3. Develop healthy boundaries with people and situations that promote fear and self-doubt.
4. Get out in Nature. Nature accepts you for who you are. Be yourself.
5. Move your body; Take care of your body.
6. Grieve the feeling of loss. You did not have all of your needs met. Acknowledge that loss and give yourself permission to grieve.
7. Move Forward. Take Divine Action and make a plan to create a life that you desire.
8. Love yourself. All day.
9. Ask for assistance. Sometimes we need help in trying to make life more enjoyable. Seek answers from those that love you.
10. Develop your spirituality. When you really understand that you are a sacred Being, worthiness is the only option.
11. Be a Light in the World. Everyone on this planet has a Divine Purpose. Establish your Divine Presence and accomplish your Divine Purpose.

Adler, A. (2006). Education for prevention; Individual psychology in the schools. The education of children.  (G. L. Liebenau, Trans). Classical Adlerian Translation Project. (Original work published in 1930).

Brown, B. (2016). Shame Shields: The armor we sue to protect ourselves and why it doesn't work [Power-Point Slides]. COURAGEworks, LLC.

Pharaon, V. (2023). The origin of you: How breaking family patterns can liberate the way we live and love. G.P. Putman’s Sons.